Begets Begets Begets...

Its been a while since I've posted, because, as Margaret points out, we've been extremely busy volunteering with Project Hope. Project Hope is a Canadian sponsored NGO which is located in Nablus City in the West Bank. Project Hope brings volunteers from all over the world to teach French, English, Art and Drama to anyone who signs up for its classes. Project Hope also works as a volunteer base for the greater Nablus community, which has left me more than busy.

I teach two different drama classes in two different refugee camps near Nablus, I do clown and mime workshops with the Nablus City Circus, I'm helping a local playwrite direct his show which opens in 15 days, and I'm working on teaching two drama classes at An-Najah University. The opportunity to work with so many people in Palestine has been very envigorating, because quite honestly, the last thing you read about in the news regarding Palestine is cultural renewal. Indeed, the theatre and drama scene is looking to develop and grow, and I've been very rewarded with the amount of work and effort that my kids in the refugee camps have put into developing their skills, and with the commitment from the local actors here.

So thats the good news. The bad news is that I think Palestine is taking its toll on me... I'm getting tired of street youth yelling out 'hey whats your name' 'hey where you from' 'hey fuck you' to Margaret and I when we walk home each night, and sometimes they become really aggresive. We've had rocks thrown at us three times in the month that we've been here, and while I love the kids I work with in the refugee camps, they fight CONSTANTLY with one another. There is absolutely no discipline in the UN schools we work in, and the teachers just shrug when the boys fight each other. The first couple weeks were really difficult because these kids fear nothing. They are incredibly resilient because they have become completely normalized by drone planes flying over head coupled by Israeli incursions into their homes late at night. Furthermore, I have a loud voice, but it can't even begin to compete with the Minaret blasting the call to prayer when I need even a little bit of focus and attention for the class. Theres no way I can punish any kid for fighting in my drama class because they dont care. I tell one kid he's kicked out if he fights again, and he tells me he's not leaving, or he just walks away, and comes back with some of his friends to start another fight. Only through very slow exercises and an assload of patience have I managed to make even a slight amount of progress.

Don't read this all wrong; I do not blame these kids for their behavior. This is a by-product of life under Occupation, and I'm going to come out of this having earned the patience of Job. But its very telling of what humanitarian work is like, because it can be very depressing. The cycles of violence just seem to perpetuate themselves because of the Occupation, and the psychological state of the youth here is very fragmented that it seems like even a little progress or positive energy can be stamped out in a heartbeat.

So I'm caught between two places - there are people that tell Margaret and I how grateful they are that we have come from our 'clean countries' to work here and share our knowledge with them, while on the other hand, there are many others who hate anyone who isn't Palestinian and make it quite evident they don't want us here. I begin to wonder really what right we even have to be here. Who am I to tell them how to behave or how to direct a play, or how to mime? Maybe the problems that exist in Palestine need a domestically Palestinian solution. Will my work here even matter in the end? There's so many problems that exist that require at least a generation of attention and work by people who can sustain a common presence here, while I've only come for two months to try and show Palestinians what improvisational theatre is like. So are we helping in the short-term, only to cause harm in the long-term?

I don't think I'll ever know the answers to these questions, but its important to ask them because aid work isn't inherently positive simply because its aid work - it can do more damage in the long run when it isn't regulated, monitored, and analyzed for its effectiveness. For now I can only hope that I'm abiding by the Hippocratic oath, while focusing on chipping away on my part of the wall to help bring it down.